GRAVY TRAIN
By DANIEL F. GALOUYE
Ever hear of evil fairies who
grant three wishes? McWorther's
was more efficient. One wish
was plenty to bring catastrophe!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1960.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
I
At one hundred and thirty, life was indeed gratifying for TitusMcWorther. But for one missing detail, it would have been perfect.
With his wife, Edna, he had planned well for retirement. Hisidyllic estate consisted of a second-hand planetoid, thirty miles incircumference, which was the only habitable piece of matter in itssystem. Complete with supplementary gravity generator, a compactatmosphere, a mantle of lush topsoil and a carefully selected biota,McWorther's World was both his delight and his pride.
Its principal asset was, of course, its isolation.
Well away from the mainstream of galactic civilization, McWorther'sStar was smugly hidden behind a dark nebula, through which he and Ednaplunged twice a year to the fringe of the cluster—just to observe andmock convention, if for nothing else.
It was an ideal setup.
But, after two sedentary years, Titus realized he still needed one itemto make his retirement complete. So he dispatched this tight-beamedmessage to the packet order department of Rear-Sobucks and Company inthe West Cluster Federation's Hub City:
Dear Sir:
Please send one automatic bather with back-scrubbing attachment andtoy boat docks, as listed in your videolog under order No. 4678-25C.Charge same to credit account No. W414754-B24D.
Sincerely yours,
Titus McWorther, Potentate
McWorther's World
He listed the coordinates of the star and the orbital factor of hisplanetoid.
Unfortunately, the hyper-spatial line between McWorther's World andthe nearest relay center was partly coincident with the link to thepolitically noncommitted world of Gauyuth-VI.
This condition, together with the fact that components of acommunication are sent by separate pulse, sometimes leads to theembarrassing phenomenon known as "message interfusion," which isretransmission of the right text with the wrong signature.
And it so happened that as Titus McWorther's order was en route, thesystem was also being burdened with this intelligence to the GanymedeExtension of the Western Cluster's State Department:
Dear Sir:
This will verify our agreement and authorize implementation ofinterstellar aid arrangements as set forth in conferences with yourambassador. If such arrangements produce mutual satisfaction, we willquite readily declare concurrence, in principle at least, with thepolitical aims of the Western Cluster.
Respectfully yours,
Ogarm Netath,
Prime Minister
Gauyuth-VI
Appended to the signature were the coordinates of Gauyuth and theorbital factor of its Number Six planet.
Wharton Hoverly, undersecretary of cosmic aid for the Western Cluster,plucked at his thick, gray mustache as he reread the space-o-gram.
He punched the videobox stud. "Mallston!"
The younger and more composed face of his assistant stared from thescreen. "Yes, sir?"
"Anything yet?"
"Not a thing. We have no record of a—McWorther's World."
"What do you suppose?"
"Well, it