PERVERTED
PROVERBS
A MANUAL OF IMMORALS
FOR THE MANY
BY
COL. D. STREAMER
Author of "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless
Homes" "Ballads of the Boer War"
"The Baby's Baedeker"
NEW YORK
R. H. RUSSELL
1903
Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard Russell
Published May, 1903.
PERVERTED PROVERBS
Perverted Proverbs
Dedicated to
Helen Whitney
Do you recall those bygone days,When you received with kindly praiseMy bantling book of Rhyme?Praise undeserved, alas! and yetHow sweet! For, tho' we had not met,(Ah! what a waste of time!)I could the more enjoy such merciesSince I delighted in your verses.
And when a Poet stoops to smileOn some one of the rank and file,(Inglorious—if not mute,)Some groundling bard who craves to climb,Like me, the dizzy rungs of Rhyme,To reach the Golden Fruit;For one in such a situationThe faintest praise is no damnation.
Parnassus heights must surely pall;For simpler diet do you call,Of nectar growing tired?These verses to your feet I bring,Drawn from an unassuming spring,Well-meant—if not inspired;O charming Poet's charming daughter,Descend and taste my toast and water!
For you alone these lines I write,That, reading them, your brow may lightBeneath its crown of bays;Your eyes may sparkle like a star,With friendship, that is dearer farThan any breath of praise;The which a lucky man possessingCan ask no higher human blessing.
And, though the "salt estranging sea"Be widely spread 'twixt you and me,We have what makes amends;And since I am so glad of you,Be glad of me a little, too,Because of being friends.And, if I earn your approbation,Accept my humble dedication.
H. G.
Foreword
The Press may pass my Verses byWith sentiments of indignation,And say, like Greeks of old, that ICorrupt the Youthful Generation;I am unmoved by taunts like these—(And so, I think, was Socrates).
Howe'er the Critics may revile,I pick no journalistic quarrels,Quite realizing that my Style...