The Statistomat Pitch
By CHAN DAVIS
Illustrated by JOHN SCHOENHERR
The product looked okay, and the salesman
was sharp ... dangerously sharp!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Infinity January 1958.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
The little salesman buzzed into my hotel room exactly at 10. He musthave been waiting in the corridor, ambushing the second-hand.
I watched from my deep chair in the corner while he slid open hisraincoat, lifted it neatly off his back (the casual shrug wasn't hisstyle), and stood with it hanging from his forefinger. With a bright,apologetic smile he hung it up in the alcove behind the door. I decidednot to object to his using the hook without asking; it'd just slowthings up.
The salesman smiled again, ducked out into the corridor and back inwith a flat 24x20 brief case and a large, oddly shaped suitcase. Hispresentation charts and a mockup of the computer, obviously. Moreapologetic faces, and he sat down.
He said, "It was very good of you, Mr. Borch, to give me this chanceto tell you about our new, personalized Statistomat. I know you're abusy man—"
I raised my drooping eyelids just enough to see him properly.
"—with all your responsibilities, and I hope I'll be able to answerall your questions on modern estate planning. That's what I'm herefor!" He smiled as if he were pausing for questions, but he didn'tpause.
He intoned, "The man of wealth has a special responsibility in oursociety. He is the trustee of invested capital, on which our economyrests. His proud charge is to direct and build his holdings wisely;and natural economic laws have justly placed the nation's considerableestates in the hands of men equal to the charge.
"At the same time, such men owe themselves freedom from deprivation.And they owe themselves a financial plan adapted to theirown—er—preferences and tastes in freedom from deprivation. This iswhy we speak of personalized estate planning. Maybe this will bestill clearer, Mr. Borch, if we look at an example."
Here we go again, I thought, as he hauled a packet out of his briefcase, opened it out into a little stand on the table, and flipped upthe first chart.
"Take the case of Robert Jones, who inherits $25,000,000 fromhis father. The inheritance taxes are all taken care of byinvestment-incentive deductions, so Mr. Jones has $25,000,000 in liquidassets to invest."
Right on the ball, I thought. The hypothetical 25 million was justabout twice the publicly known size of the Borch estate, thereforeright in the league he could figure I'd like to be playing in. And thehypothetical Jones on the chart, confidently facing the future, washandsome and dignified, but not much more so than I was.
"Mr. Jones has a wife and one young son." They appeared beside him onthe second chart, and they looked very pleasant. The salesman knew JedBorch was unmarried. "He has planned to his satisfaction a way of lifeappropriate to his standing." On the next chart the Jones family wasbacked up by a half-acre bungalow, a lake, and wooded hills.
"His desire is for security, to ensure this pattern of living tohimself and his wife, and to his son. His personalized Statistomatplans his finances accordingly." On succeeding charts, Jones changedonly in s