PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 103.
December 17th, 1892.
THE WILD WILD EAST.
First Coster. "Say, Bill, 'ow d'yer likemy new Kickseys? Good Fit, eh?"
Second Coster. "Fit! They ain'tno Fit. They're aHaperplictick Stroke!"
MIXED NOTIONS.
No. 1.—BI-METALLISM.
Scene—A Railway-carriage in asuburban morning train to London. There are four Passengers, two of whomare well-informed men, while the third is an inquirer, and the fourth anaverage man. They travel up to London together every morning by the sametrain. The two Well-informed Men and the Average Man areCity men; the Inquirer is a young Solicitor. They have justfinished reading their morning papers, and are now ready to impart orreceive knowledge.
Inquirer. They don't seem to be making much of this MonetaryConference in Brussels.
First Well-informed Man. Of course they're not. I knew how itwould be from the start. I met Harcourt sometime ago, and told him what I thought about it. "You mark my words," Isaid, "the whole blessed thing will be a failure. You haven't sent outthe right men, and they're certain to waste their time in uselessacademic discussions." He seemed surprised, but he hadn't got a word tosay.
Inquirer (deeply impressed). Ah!
First W. I. M. The thing's really as simple as A B C. Here arewe, a country with a gold standard, and we find that gold hasappreciated. What's the consequence? Why, silver goes down everyday, andcommerce is dislocated,—absolutely dislocated. All we have to dois to——
Second W. I. M. (breaking in). One moment! When you saygold has appreciated, you mean, of course, that the purchasing power ofgold has increased—in other words, commodities are cheaper. Isn'tthat so?
First W. I. M. Yes. Well, what then?
Second W. I. M. What's your remedy? Do you think you can makethings better by fixing a ratio between gold and silver? In the firstplace, you can't do it; they've got nothing to do with one another.
First W. I. M. (triumphantly). Haven't they? What haveyou got to say, then, about the Indian rupee? That's where the whole ofyour beautiful system comes to grief. You can't deny that.
Second W. I. M. The Indian rupee has got nothing to do withit. My theory is, that it's all due to the American coinage of silver,and (vaguely), if we do the same as they, why, we shall only makethings worse. No, no, my boy, you've got hold of the wrong end of thestick, there. Look at the Bland Bill. Do you want to have that kind ofthing in England?
Inquirer. God forbid! By the way, what was the Bland Bill?
A Little Mixed.
Second W. I. M. What! you don't know what the BlandBill was? Don't you