When I state that I was own brother to Lord Burleydon, had an income oftwo thousand a year, could speak all the polite languages fluently, wasa powerful swordsman, a good shot, and could ride anything from anelephant to a clotheshorse, I really think I have said enough tosatisfy any feminine novel-reader of Bayswater or South Kensington thatI was a hero. My brother's wife, however, did not seem to incline tothis belief.
"A more conceited, self-satisfied little cad I never met than you," shesaid. "Why don't you try to do something instead of sneering at otherswho do? You never take anything seriously—except yourself, whichisn't worth it. You are proud of your red hair and peaked nose justbecause you fondly believe that you got them from the Prince ofTrulyruralania, and are willing to think evil of your ancestress tosatisfy your snobbish little soul. Let me tell you, sir, that therewas no more truth about that than there was in that silly talk of herpartiality for her husband's red-haired gamekeeper in Scotland. Ah!that makes you start—don't it? But I have always observed that a muleis apt to remember only the horse side of his ancestry!"
Whenever my pretty sister-in-law talks in this way I always try toforget that she came of a family far inferior to our own, theRazorbills. Indeed, her people—of the Nonconformist stock—really hadnothing but wealth and rectitude, and I think my brother Bob, in hisgenuine love for her, was willing to overlook the latter for the sakeof the former.
My pretty sister-in-law's interest in my affairs always made me believethat she secretly worshiped me—although it was a fact, as will be seenin the progress of this story, that most women blushed on my addressingthem. I used to say it "was the reflection of my red hair on atransparent complexion," which was rather neat—wasn't it? And subtle?But then, I was always saying such subtle things.
"My dear Rose," I said, laying down my egg spoon (the egg spoon reallyhad nothing to do with this speech, but it imparted such a delightfullyrealistic flavor to the scene), "I'm not to blame if I resemble theS'helpb